C[omp]ute

From: andrew cooke <andrew@...>

Date: Wed, 6 Aug 2014 16:28:50 -0400

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ele/4604537977.html


I can add:

 * Without him, cables are directionless.

 * He listens to tape in disguise (when he is recognised there's too much wow
   and flutter).

 * Tubes roll for him.

 * Naim gave him permission to use banana plugs.  But he doesn't need their
   permission.

 * His central heating is class a.  His air conditioning is torus power.

 * His connections are so well balanced they competed for GDR on the beam.

 * He can consistently ABX 16/44 and 24/96.  When playing mp3 128.

 * He uses neither mc nor mm.  His platter is fixed, the world revolves around
   him, and the cartridge moves.


And in case the original gets deleted, they were:

 * He does not need cable lifters. When he enters a room, speaker cables lift
   themselves out of respect.

 * He does not buy remastered records. He remasters his own.

 * He can bias power tubes to within 1mV ... by ear.

 * Mark Levinson build a custom preamp for him ... with tone controls and
   loudness.

 * He traps his own bass.

 * He has never listened to "Jazz at the Pawnshop" ... he just happened to be
   there and gave the recording engineer a few pointers.

 * McIntosh chose the color of his eyes for its VU meters.

 * His list of equipment is The Recommended List of Components.

 * His interpretation of Wife Acceptance Factor is completely different from
   yours ... and it has nothing to do with speakers.

 * Diana Krall ogles at his photos.

 * Hewlett-Packard uses his perfect 1Khz whistle to calibrate their test
   equipment.

 * His mere presence causes jitter in lesser components ... even analog ones.

 * When one of his girlfriend asked for diamonds for their anniversary, he
   bought himself a pair of B&W 800D speakers -- and she was ecstatic.

* His ears are insured with Lloyd's of London.

 * It is said that Dave Wilson was inspired to build and name their MAXX
   speaker after seeing him naked in the locker room shower. It is also
   rumored that his beard shavings are the secret ingredients in Wilson
   Speaker's X Material.

 * Michael Fremer credits him for the vinyl revival.

 * When he is in the audience at a concert, Keith Jarrett refrains from making
   those annoying grunts and noises when he plays.

 * He once arm wrestled Eveanna Manley ... and won.

 * The moment he takes a new piece of equipment out of the store it
   appreciates in value by 40%.

He is ... the most interesting audiophile in the world. 


Andrew